Coping with stress and anxiety during holiday season (Article)
Part 3 – The financial aspect
In the time before the holidays , many families are spending thousands of dollars in presents, food, clothing, house repairs and such.
Ok now lets get back to our soul search Let’s take a few examples
Many of us have enough clothing in our closet. But we still find ourselves spending a great deal of money on clothes and shoes. Some of it comes from the thoughts that it is fun, and a good opportunity to refresh our wardrobe with new exciting clothes, there are many good sales around the holidays, and it is a good opportunity to buy something new. Also, wearing new clothes gives you a feeling of a fresh start. A feeling of something new and exciting. A feeling of festivity. These thoughts are good and positive and if you can afford it, there is no wrong in doing so.
The problem begins when you can’t afford it and you feel obligated to buying new clothes, because that is what people in your community, or your family cell are usually doing and you don’t want to feel different or odd. So, if you already have clothes that are respectful enough for the holiday, why are you then buying new ones? You are a reasonable person. You are in control of your life and spending. Why do you find yourself spending on something that you cannot afford and is not necessary? Something that will put you in debt and bring you a lot of grief, many months after the holiday is over?
The answer is that your Ego is in the driver’s seat.
I am just giving one example here, please don’t take it personally, that might not be your specific case, but I hope with that help you will to find the element of your ego that is driving you to make such decisions.
So let’s say that your animalistic soul is seeking respect from your neighbors and your community. Let’s dub you Ego: “I need to be respected, no matter what the price is, I can’t stand the thought of anyone in my community thinking less of me. I don’t want them think I am not successful. So I am willing to go into debt, just not to be perceived by the members of my church as less succesful and not win their respect”.
This type of Ego is feeding on respect, or acceptance, or appreciation, or Honor, or Control. Those are different manifestations of the Ego’s will to absorb energy from its surrounding.
A person that has his Divine soul is the driver’s seat will think: “It could have been nice to buy new clothes but I need this money to provide to my family for the rest of the year with more important things like, food, education, and everyday clothing. If I buy clothes for the holiday, it will put a great stress on me, that could hurt my relationship with my partner , and that in turn will hurt my children as well. Anyways the most important aspect of the holiday is not the external, superficial things. It is about celebrating among family and friends. It’s about worshipping God and giving gratitude to the Lord for our life, our health, and our wealth. Maybe next year, God willing, I will be able to afford it”
This is just one example but you can use it for any time you encounter a financial problem regarding over spending during the holiday season.
I want to warn you to be careful, because the Animalistic soul is very treacherous. It has sooo many excuses to give, that will make it look like we are actually doing a good thing, we are giving and not receiving.
For example: “ I have to buy my son an Xbox, he has been waiting for that present for a long time, I am actually doing something good” That is a trick that your Ego is playing on you to make you feed it.
Yes, its true that your son wants a new Xbox, and its true that you will make him very happy if you but him that. And if you can afford it, that is totally ok. However, if you cannot afford it , and it has a big price to pay later-on, for example you will have to be away from home long hours at work and not be a part of your son’s life as a result of that. Is that really a good choice for your son?
Also what are you teaching him? That its ok to overspend what you don’t have? What is going to him when he grows up? You need to teach him financial responsibility.
Moreover, are you buying him that present, because your ego does not want to deal with the negative attitude you are going to get from your son? Or that you don’t want people to think that you didn’t buy him that present because you don’t have enough money?
Or maybe because you can’t stand the thought that you are not good dad?
Maybe your Ego wants to know that you are a good dad. And If you don’t but that present , your ego will not be fed with your inner thoughts that you are a good dad, or that you are successful.
Think about it deeply , what is your REAL interior motive to buy that game even though you cannot afford it? Is it really better for your son to have that game rather than have a sane parent without stress that is mentally available for him?
I cannot make that call for you , but YOU owe it to your son, not even to yourself. The key here is to understand the simple equation Negative feelings means the Animalistic Soul or your Ego is in the drivers seat.
The negative feelings are a manifestation of your Ego not getting what it wants. Its like a baby that dropped its pacifier, and it crying and crying, and there is nothing wrong with it, just that it wants to suck on that pacifier. That is how our ego works as fell, as long as you feed it, it is happy, the second you stop, it starts screaming and kicking and crying until it gets what it wants